TeenageLoveAffair: (broken-hearted girl...)

i don't wanna be without you baby

i don't want a broken-heart

don't wanna  take a breathe without my baby

i don't wanna play that part

i know that i love you, but let me just say

i don't want to love you in no "kinda" way

No, No

i don't want a broken-heart

and i don't want to play the broken-hearted girl

nooo, nooo

no broken-hearted girl

Bittersweet Escapes: The Realization

"Ready For Love"

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My Soul
My Mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

Sweet Escapes: The Coldest Winter Ever.

So there has been back and forth with he who shall remain nameless.
He wants this, that, this, and then some. And I hear him but I'm not listening.
Part of me wants to and part of me thinks that he is just a JOKE!
I mean, its very clear that he isn't ready.
But even if he was ready, I'm not.
Or am I not because I want him not, anymore?

See, that is the hmmm and the eh, of the matter.

Hmmmm I wondered for sometime, what shoulda, coulda, woulda, or life have been like to have shared moments in life with him.
Hmmmm where the thoughts that provoked my mind when I fantasized about what kind of times we could have had, he knowing me and my friends.
The thoughts of falling into his arms and understanding his world. (ummmmmmmmmmm, mhmm)
But that all turned into an eh when his emotions became scarce and his words seemed like ice sickles that were frozen lies, mischief, and deceit.
Its like time froze this past winter and everything it captured from him has begun to melt in the spring sun.

But, I was struck by a new ray of light.
One of sincerity, devotion, unphased but passionate honesty.
This new ray raised the bar of standards for all from sunrise to sunset.
Its light is a gentle kiss in the early dawn,
a "love you goodbye" before adventures begun.

This new ray...all began in a Daydream.

Sweet Escapes: I Can Hear Your Heart the Peace Edition

It said I'm sorry, I love you, I failed to understand what I was doing.
Can you forgive me?
Of course I can, I already did.
I relinquished my emotions and disappointment for the past possibilities long ago.

I'm no keeper of bad vibes.
I am the lover, for the lover in you.
I am the joy that grants smiles, shares laughs, make believes, uplifts, builds strength, lays hope, and looks forward.
I accepted your apology long before it was given,
nights before it was thought and hours before it became real to your tongue.

I believe in the impossible, to love everyone differently but equally.
I strive to live like never before, never hold grudges, always say I'm sorry, never decline a free smile, give and take hugs.

But just know that my heart was listening and being mindful long ago...before I knew that you knew that there was a wrong...

Daydreaming: Back In The Day...

I had the biggest crush this side of the Mississippi for you.
I had one picture, that I held near and dear and always wondered what if?
What if I had told you how cute I thought you were and how much I crushed on you.
What if you knew that I really could careless that your bff was confident enough to approach me, that he was nonexistent once I was connected to you.
We lost contact all those years I occasionally wondered who, what , and where you were?
I crack up laughing often at my terrible ways of thinking in high school (he's cute but his teeth are a little jacked up) and now I see you and I'm like man he is still FINE, how'd I let that get away?!
I must admit I'm a sucker for charm and endless compliments but there is so much more to this than just smiles.
Its like revolving childhood memories.
This is the thrill that I live for, the youth oriented passion that I dream about in my romance stories.
And yet your so near and dear to my heart and so far away from my touch, this is definetly a story relived. I use to make believe I went on dates or hung out with you, mainly because that's all I could do, hahaha.
But here we are nearly 10 years later playfully chatting in every way we can.
Only difference this time is that we are making plans to pseudo date each other.
This is going to be a good summer, kicked off by a very Happy Day to me :-)

Sweet Escapes: The Hopeless Romantic

So once upon a time in my life, I thought that I was love and loved by all and never thought I could experience continuous bittersweet disappointment.
Well the only other person I loved as closely as I loved my "sunshine" showed me the other side of him that I could not ever believe could be apart of him.
I guess my own naive interest and heart-filled engagements with him blinded me so.
I shared the story with some wisdom-filled persons and their advice was to walk away, and that it didn't sound as promising as I wanted it to.
But I kept selling the story to myself, fancying all the things to be done, shared, and made.
That short term courtship ended with bittersweet closing... I still linger in the what ifs occasionally but leave him in his place...

Flirt; Flirting; Flirtatious

Some say i am a flirt, some say i have it down to a science. I say that my kind gestures of cordial conversation are mere compliment to my natural ora.