On to the Next One...

So I had a great day today, I planned my next 8 months which are an exit strategy out of NY in 2010. Yes I am ready to go, ready to leave my love, my favorite city to date. I have come to grips with the fact that my home is not in the City of Dreams any longer. All that I love, all that truly makes me happy is not here and will not be here forever. The best friend and brother I could have ever asked God for is leaving for Brazil. I am so excited and sad at the same time. He is the most reckless, tackless, loving, driven, and intellectual man I know. His passion about his work and his family is phenomenal yet a direct reflection of his venturesome upbringing. My cousin, the right hand man I have had since 2nd grade is headed back to Zamunnda to be with her prince. And ultimately the 5 year plan I designed when I arrived here, has come to its complete fruition and now it is time for God to redirect me to my next place.

All The In Between, are Just Chapters to the Story: The Reconnection...

So it is 2010, and at the tale end of 2009, He who I have deemed the love of my life, has returned back to me. I suppose? Maybe? Possibly? I honestly do not know. It really just happened all of sudden, and long before it actually took place it was very unrealistic. However, I was there laying in the warmth of his arms, underneath the cool of breathe, so I know that it was true. He and I, rekindled, for a moment in time. We lay side by side over the course of a few days, we slept, ate and played. We even went so far to watched one another in slumber. Jokingly, but filled with keepsake intentions, we snapped photos of each other, at our best and worst moments. Knowing him, I am half naked or unclothed sneak shots of me trying to get dressed...I digress.

There are many things that I want to cover in this brief blog that we have shared in the past few weeks, but I am going to keep it simple as possible...first I wanted to address the whys, how's, and why not's. Before (as in 2008) you were pretty open with me, some times apprehensive but still open enough that I trusted in you whole-heartly. I have always been a firm believer in having face-to-face conversations with people about matters that are dear to the heart, but the three opportunities I was given to do so with you, I did not do it.

I also believe in timing and comfort for a conversation. Yes I am a type A personality, but I also like to respect moments in life and live in the moments of pure bliss. So with that said, although the thoughts ran across my brain while I lay under you or stare you in the face as we sip alcohol together, I knew to leave those times as they were. Happy.

Then there is of course the actual conversation, via text message. I was actually in complete disbelief that you had it, and with little effort of me pulling it out of you. But more importantly, it was what you said. I will admit that I am a sucker for love, especially one that I never gave up on, that I always wondered if it would come back to me. (Thank you God, if this is that chance). You actually shared with me your thought process, because you are cocky and confident you have a way about you that never gives up or in on anyone or anything that you want. We are very compatible people, and my level of educational success does not offend you, nor does it make you feel like you cannot be what I want or need. Confidence, is something I truly admire within you. With that you spoke these words to me, and I was set into a trance and left a reaffirmed believer that words speak power "When I first seen you, I was like "I want her" and it was genuine...like I wanted to get to know you and vice versa...that's why I try not to take people for granted because I asked for them to be in my life"

If that doesn't make your heart melt, and scream I am being sincere, I do not know what it is or means to be sincere by any since of the word.

think that is one of the most intimate things that one can do, it shows a true interest affection of




Let me know, do I still got time to grow...things ain't always set in stone. That be known, let me know... - Kanye West "Streetlights"

And then there was...love

I have never in my 9 years of having sex, experienced anything as fantastic as each and every time my body and mind engage with you.

good. GOT. damn.

Confessions...

So, this 10 day boyfriend thing is pretty damn awesome!!!

Last nights, phone night cap was rather interesting...I was half whispering my words because it was late and I did not want to wake the house, primarily my sister with whom I slept with. We talked about marriage and the possibility of me being married before him. However, we have a standing non-negotiable clause in our friendship that on or before I reach 32, we are to procreate a man child into this world, the old fashion way.

Then we drifted onward towards practicing and perverted thoughts, and at that moment again I wanted to act out Dr. Suess' "Hop on Pop"


Today's discussion goes as follows (in synopsis form):

Him: if you woulda been able to magically read my thoughts...you woulda been like...damn nigga let me breathe lol

Me: i wanted to punch you that night you kept harassing me and then falling back to sleep, then i'd fall asleep and you would start harassing me again

Him: basically i had the andre 3000 skit in my head...minus the sex lol

Me: (thinking to self) what is he doing, go away or go all the way

Me: it's not like we've never done such things in a former life

Him: but im the dummy

Me: its kinda funny though bc i know you're a perv

Him: I know and that should give me more reason to act like one lol. because you know

Me: lol yup


Let's see what I can make happen over the next few days... Aoooow!
*plotting*

A Merry Christmas Tale...

So for starters, I was really having a rough Christmas Eve. Pops had got on my last nerve he was making assumptions and throwing all types of inappropriate attitude my way. His side comments were not worth my headache and I was ready to exit stage left and go on with my life as an adult else where. But because He has mercy upon me and He heard a dove cry, He granted me some peace, by sending one of the best gifts I could have asked for in my life, my best friend and sister. Not only did she surprise me and show up to spend Christmas day with me, she promptly arrived at midnight making this the best gift I could have received all year long.

Yes I cried on the inside but was smiling from ear to ear on the outside :)

As the day went along, there was of course gift giving in the early morning with the kiddies because they were eager for it to be Christmas morning. Baby girl ran around the house causing a serious stir and finally she was victorious at 7:15am when all were summoned to the living room for gift exchange and loud children screams of joy.

Routine day occurred there-in after I made breakfast, took a nap, dinner was served, all while kids where at play. But something inside me told me to extend the invitation to the greatest piece of my happiness from 2008, and he too came and joined in the family affair.

We had mild interaction on name that tune, then of course Pops monopolized my time with my company as if he had come to see him. From there "he", bestie, G-bf and I went to bar Louie cracked jokes and made good times.

Although it was not an extravagant day filled with major gift exchange it marks the first time that I was completely happy as a child is on Christmas morning, because I was surrounded by all those whom I love and all were merry and I sat there and stared at Love.

Oh Christmas Eve...

Man o man, I sure hope church makes me feel better. I pray that God has a word for my spirit today when I attend my favorite service that is given at FCOG.

Christmas is one time of year that often brings me joy because it is when my family gets together and shares love and gifts. For me it is about the joy and happiness that come across the faces of my sisters and nieces and nephews, for they are innocent and they do not know what it means to struggle or be unhappy.


family = love true from me to you

So High...You Showed Me How to Fly

So I arrive, promptly at 8:30p Friday night as scheduled...pick up at 8:50p, Perfect! So we go to your home, a few things I did not like but brushed off as lapse or carefree thoughts, you didn't offer to take my suitcase in exchange for the lighter items in your hand. One pass, no biggie life happens. We go in, the kiddies are excited to see me, little miss pretty remembered me and she was the most over-joyed. It was kind of interesting to say the least and appeasing to me.

Small talk occurs...

We enter into your dwelling space, it was nice and half way clean...did not look lived in much, but you are a guy so what am I to expect (shoulder shrug). Bags dropped, quick lounge and then we went on a wild goose chase for me some food. You indulged because I was hungry, then I felt bad because a few hours later you were making love with the porcelain queen of your world your all...sawree.

The rest of the weekend was not filled with endless sex or high levels of romance, but most importantly it was purely peaceful, drama free, and a the ultimate comfort zone. No drama, no worries, no annoying or awkward interactions...just joyous life in its purest form. From the initial time we rekindled our friendship in 2007, I have found nothing but a place of happiness within you.

What does that mean?

I do not know, but what I can appreciate from it is that my heart smiles when you are involved on almost any axis of the world that it sits on. If and when the time comes for me to move forward in love and life, if that is the peak at which my heart should rest upon, I would be forever and eternally grateful...if it is not too much to ask, could you, would you save room for my love?

A moment to be with me, save a little for me...

Awe sleeping in your arms, next to you was so comforting to my soul. I am not sure if it was because I was just in need of a gentle touch or if in all honesty your touch is the one that satisfies me the most. I am not the one to play the rebound or to go back into familiar space without question or a good verbal fight, but in your world I feel like I am at a perfect place, at a perfect time, with God's most imperfect man...and I absolutely love it!!

If carelessness is this, and this is happiness, I want it now, down and dirty, to the core and forevermore. For it is this careless space that we have discussed and both equally love.

Nonetheless, heaven only knows but for now what the future holds, but I know that you the wind that makes my love flies high...


-- Dove