its still a tough one...if i didnt admire your character as i do it would be easier...but that is where i am torn between a valued growing friendship or a broken heart...but this is how i feel today, tomorrow i may feel differently

Sweet Escapes: All but a Broken Heart

So I have been awaiting the day that I say "I'm so into you" (in best SWV singing voice) to your face. I have been burning to understand if these feelings that I hold dear to my heart are shared and connected to you. I really just want to know, where they came from and why they are here. I hold on to these thoughts and think more of you and want to be with you. I want to be in your presence and be the essence of your smile. And each free moment that I can obtain and hold on to as mine, I bask in the possibility that it brings me joy to know you.

You told me that honesty was your newest thing and that you were a better because you desired to be, wanted to be, hoped to be. I told you that I could take it and roll with it and move on it with you. Last go round was a rocki road and unknowingly we vowed to take it slow, and let things naturally unwind. I have to admit, it wasn't suppose to pan out like this....me feeling you and you feeling me... good company is what we were suppose to be.

But I have caught a vibe from you that you want me but you don't...you don't want me because you are not who you want to be or where you want to be? I find myself fighting the same battles time and time again...why on earth did we become friends!! I do not like it when I long for you, that is not what I should be doing...

But your damn charm is connected to your swag which encourages my random sexual thoughts that are enticed by your subtle innuendo's that linger on my mind...or maybe its just the thought of me touching you, liking you, wanting to LOVE you and giving you multiple orgasms all over your body...but maybe that's just what I envisioned in my head...

But today you really took me to the corner of Broken Heart Blvd. The thought of you not being apart of the routine thoughts that I hold in my mind, brought me to an abrupt stop!! I was flustered and confused and was irrationally about to make a right turn down the dreaded street, but something in me said WAIT!!! Call and ask for directions, so I did and was very grateful of doing so...now I am riding along the freeway enjoying the tempo and flow of Just Friends...

thanks Tink, LH, and Coutee you are all life savers...for now at least.

Sweet Escapes: Lesson 3 Food, Folks, and Fun

So this go round was down time. No waking up and going 10 hours straight with text messages, voicemails, emails, interviews, and conference calls...just relaxation. I spent endless yet wonderful time with my favorite two people in this entire world, my joy and my pride, my sisters. I have never been in love with any one as much as I am in love with them. They are just wonderful gifts from God. We played endless games and shared funny stories and jokes into the wee hours of the morning. It was really awesome, I even was able to spoil them a little, which made me feel good as a sister but most importantly as an adult.