Well after being filled with rage, anger, and disgust from my self. I showered, dressed, and walked out the door. I walked out into the world that was filled with greater problems that I could ever imagine having on my own. I walked out into the world were children and teenagers were on the streets enjoying what they saw as a peace-filled evening. I walked out of my house trying to regain my strength.
About 3 years ago, a dear friend of mine told me that I was very resilient. He had never witnessed someone who was a strong as I. I thought to myself that he was just being kind and attempting to encourage me to keep my head above water. For there were many times when I felt that I were drowning in a sea of sorrow and unfortunately had grabbed a hold of some of my friends that were not interested in going under with me, which eventually pushed them away. But as time moved on and I was able to clear my thoughts I began to believe in what my friend had shared with me. I reflected on days when I did not know him and times were "ruff". I had no one to count on but myself. I had no one to hear my words in there entirety. I was in a world were I was fighting to define myself and my surroundings were all nouns against me. But this is when I believed in me. Believed in all the things that I had learned throughout growth and development, adolescences, and young adult hood. I believed and agreed with what he said and what God said. I put my trust in the Lord. I put my all into Hebrews 11:1.
So this morning I awoke on my own, to God's sunshine and street noise. I awoke with a different spirit and new disposition on my life. I awoke knowing that all things are possible and inevitable things are set to be apart of my destiny. I got up, cleaned up, looked threw the things that belong to me and made up my mind that TODAY will not reflect YESTERDAY!!! For it is a thing of the past, dwelling on it will only make me mad. And because I picked up that attitude, the Lord lead me to his house and showed me His word. Today, unlike other times I was in he house of God I felt that the sermon was made for me. Made for my strength, to show me that the person I was, is not who God made me to be. For me to remain in encouraged and that Friends can sometimes be more than any other thing we find fond to our heart.
Lesson for the day: God sees' all of our faults, and still fulfills our needs.
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